Anger
Tara on Tour
Perhaps not surprisingly, and probably rather usefully, I've been experiencing lots of anger this week. I dare say that evoking the presence of this fourth Tara has brought material to consciousness that she can help to transform.
The predominant reason for these feelings has been conflict about this very pilgrimage. Having intended to head off to various parts of the world, I have found very little genuine enthusiasm to do so - and in fact would resent the cost and stress that travel entails. I have also been sleeping in a room where the next-door neighbour is rather disturbed and who cries loudly at all hours of the night!! Outside the window, she has posted big sheets of paper saying "ALL THE MANY HOURS OF OTHER PEOPLE'S TIME USED UP ...AND THE STRESS INFLICTED....THESE ARE THE ONLY REALITIES". So I am kept awake experiencing HER reality!!!! Trying to muster compassion and send it through the walls, but usually only managing to do this after about 2 hours of silently boiling "will you just bloody shut up?"
Ooops. Rather a long way to go.
My firey temperament is a source of many jokes in the family and I'm frequently reminded of, for example, the time when I tried to get to school one Winter and there were obstacles everywhere. The fucking train wasn't working and I couldn't get the fucking petrol cap off the fucking car and generally I was rather fucked off!!
The mind gets hotter and hotter, tighter and tighter, when anger's arisen. In fact the voice of anger - and the personality that accompanies the voice - are quite distinct. I've been sitting with it and bringing awareness to it, sitting through the painful feelings that are behind the angry ones....and it's amazing how this practice changes things. How the state of mind eases, opens, releases - and how there is always an answer within the extreme emotion. An answer that moves things forward in a constructive way rather than allowing them to go round and round in a destructive way.
The answer that came with regard to the conflict around this pilgrimage was quite unexpected. Instead of seeing myself as an isolated unit trying to climb Everest all by myself, there is another view - which is that I am part of a team. A Tara Team. I do not have to take all the Taras myself; they can be given to others and taken to different places by those who are sympathetic and understanding of the task at hand. That way, not only do the Taras get around the world as planned, but other people receive the blessing of her protection whilst they are doing the travelling. And become an integral part of a big network of compassion and wisdom flowing out into the world. Brilliant!
This solution has lifted a huge weight from my shoulders and opened the space in my mind again. Pressure off. Stress dissipated. Anger transformed into mirror-like wisdom!! Well, near enough. life no longer feels so utterly overwhelming or terrifying.
Thank you Tara.
Perhaps not surprisingly, and probably rather usefully, I've been experiencing lots of anger this week. I dare say that evoking the presence of this fourth Tara has brought material to consciousness that she can help to transform.
The predominant reason for these feelings has been conflict about this very pilgrimage. Having intended to head off to various parts of the world, I have found very little genuine enthusiasm to do so - and in fact would resent the cost and stress that travel entails. I have also been sleeping in a room where the next-door neighbour is rather disturbed and who cries loudly at all hours of the night!! Outside the window, she has posted big sheets of paper saying "ALL THE MANY HOURS OF OTHER PEOPLE'S TIME USED UP ...AND THE STRESS INFLICTED....THESE ARE THE ONLY REALITIES". So I am kept awake experiencing HER reality!!!! Trying to muster compassion and send it through the walls, but usually only managing to do this after about 2 hours of silently boiling "will you just bloody shut up?"
Ooops. Rather a long way to go.
My firey temperament is a source of many jokes in the family and I'm frequently reminded of, for example, the time when I tried to get to school one Winter and there were obstacles everywhere. The fucking train wasn't working and I couldn't get the fucking petrol cap off the fucking car and generally I was rather fucked off!!
The mind gets hotter and hotter, tighter and tighter, when anger's arisen. In fact the voice of anger - and the personality that accompanies the voice - are quite distinct. I've been sitting with it and bringing awareness to it, sitting through the painful feelings that are behind the angry ones....and it's amazing how this practice changes things. How the state of mind eases, opens, releases - and how there is always an answer within the extreme emotion. An answer that moves things forward in a constructive way rather than allowing them to go round and round in a destructive way.
The answer that came with regard to the conflict around this pilgrimage was quite unexpected. Instead of seeing myself as an isolated unit trying to climb Everest all by myself, there is another view - which is that I am part of a team. A Tara Team. I do not have to take all the Taras myself; they can be given to others and taken to different places by those who are sympathetic and understanding of the task at hand. That way, not only do the Taras get around the world as planned, but other people receive the blessing of her protection whilst they are doing the travelling. And become an integral part of a big network of compassion and wisdom flowing out into the world. Brilliant!
This solution has lifted a huge weight from my shoulders and opened the space in my mind again. Pressure off. Stress dissipated. Anger transformed into mirror-like wisdom!! Well, near enough. life no longer feels so utterly overwhelming or terrifying.
Thank you Tara.
posted by Anna Howard | 6:30 AM
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