Reflections
Tara on Tour
It's been a while since the last entry and I've turned 40 in the interim. Hmmmmm. Was not looking forward to this birthday but now that it's happened, I'm free of that particular hurdle.
Today I am full of hormones - the ones that make you bleed, feel sick, tired and with a head of mush. Being a woman is no joke and in many ways I can see why people used to pray to be reborn as a man so they could get on with spiritual practice without such hindrances. However, there is the other view, which I'm more inclined to adopt. Obstacles, hindrances and suffering can greatly speed up the process of enlightenment - because they act as the spur to engage in spiritual practice in the first place, and because they give ample opportunity to transform energies. Within every challenge is a huge opportunity for growth, understanding, wisdom, strength... and indeed it's the challenges that are the very source of the blessing we seek. So thank you body.... in being so quintessentially female, and in being out of balance, you are opening me to challenges and blessings that have hitherto been unknown!
I have stopped seeing this as an obstacle to this Peace Pilgrimage, and now see it as an integral part of it. There to teach and guide and direct the whole process. It's as if my old rational, controlled and goal-oriented approach, which could be regarded as more "masculine" in its style, is no longer able to be in the driving seat.... and something much more feminine has taken over. So much so that I find myself wanting to simply stay at home, look after a house, a husband, children and not be bothered with any sort of effort to engage in the world and make my own living. What a confession!! Feminism and emancipation are wasted on a woman whose hormones just say "being a woman is about caves, birthing and nurturing, not hunting and gathering".
So much do I feel this right now that I am even wondering if infertility and other such problems might be linked to the strong urges women seem to have to be out fighting in the workplace under the same demands and rigours as their male colleagues. What does it really do to our bodies and minds as women when we go against our biology? Some would argue for the healthy balance of masculine and feminine energies within the one person - and that this is what makes a whole, balanced and fully funcioning individual. I used to think like that. At the moment I'm no longer so sure.
Certainly - on a slightly different tangent - strong surges of hormones reduces any desire to be engaging with worldly activities, no matter how pleasurable they might be to the senses. This is boring for others, but great from the point of view of "turning the mind to the Dharma". All I want to do is do Tara practice, read, write a bit, chill and hang out with friends/family in ways that don't demand much effort! Very valuable for the third Tara who protects against the temptations of various desires..... she must be at work.
It's been a while since the last entry and I've turned 40 in the interim. Hmmmmm. Was not looking forward to this birthday but now that it's happened, I'm free of that particular hurdle.
Today I am full of hormones - the ones that make you bleed, feel sick, tired and with a head of mush. Being a woman is no joke and in many ways I can see why people used to pray to be reborn as a man so they could get on with spiritual practice without such hindrances. However, there is the other view, which I'm more inclined to adopt. Obstacles, hindrances and suffering can greatly speed up the process of enlightenment - because they act as the spur to engage in spiritual practice in the first place, and because they give ample opportunity to transform energies. Within every challenge is a huge opportunity for growth, understanding, wisdom, strength... and indeed it's the challenges that are the very source of the blessing we seek. So thank you body.... in being so quintessentially female, and in being out of balance, you are opening me to challenges and blessings that have hitherto been unknown!
I have stopped seeing this as an obstacle to this Peace Pilgrimage, and now see it as an integral part of it. There to teach and guide and direct the whole process. It's as if my old rational, controlled and goal-oriented approach, which could be regarded as more "masculine" in its style, is no longer able to be in the driving seat.... and something much more feminine has taken over. So much so that I find myself wanting to simply stay at home, look after a house, a husband, children and not be bothered with any sort of effort to engage in the world and make my own living. What a confession!! Feminism and emancipation are wasted on a woman whose hormones just say "being a woman is about caves, birthing and nurturing, not hunting and gathering".
So much do I feel this right now that I am even wondering if infertility and other such problems might be linked to the strong urges women seem to have to be out fighting in the workplace under the same demands and rigours as their male colleagues. What does it really do to our bodies and minds as women when we go against our biology? Some would argue for the healthy balance of masculine and feminine energies within the one person - and that this is what makes a whole, balanced and fully funcioning individual. I used to think like that. At the moment I'm no longer so sure.
Certainly - on a slightly different tangent - strong surges of hormones reduces any desire to be engaging with worldly activities, no matter how pleasurable they might be to the senses. This is boring for others, but great from the point of view of "turning the mind to the Dharma". All I want to do is do Tara practice, read, write a bit, chill and hang out with friends/family in ways that don't demand much effort! Very valuable for the third Tara who protects against the temptations of various desires..... she must be at work.
posted by Anna Howard | 1:11 PM
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