Musings...
Tara on Tour
I woke up feeling anxious this morning - which usually makes me want to cry, hide or run away! However, I realised this was an opportunity to take a good look into the nature of this anxiety and fear: after all, the very essence of Tara is protection from fear.
In many spiritual teachings, I've heard the same message: there are really only two forces at play within us - love and fear. Love is our true nature and fear is everything else, created and sustained by our ego. The fundamental problem with the human condition is our belief that we have an independent, self-existing, separate, fixed "I" .... which we need to feed, clothe, look after, provide entertainment for, reproduce, protect from pain, steer towards pleasure. We are responsible for the survival of ourselves, in the form that we perceive ourselves. We become rather attached to ourselves, and attached to what we believe is good for us and averse to what we believe is harmful.
This is all very sensible at face value. However, if we consider the consequences of millions of "I"s on the planet trying to secure their individual survival and happiness, there are many reasons why this view and behaviour is problematic. If resources are abundant, there is more likely to be relative harmony between individuals, but when they run out or are threatened, competitiveness and conflict increase. If I believe that I need all these things to survive, then I am going to be afraid if I don't have them - and resent you if you do have them. This seed of aggression towards you may grow until I truly believe I have to get rid of you somehow, or steal from you, in order to protect my own interests.
Even in times of abundance, because of this root drive to live according to the ego's belief system, my needs will just grow and grow until yesterday's luxury has become today's necessity. Greed spirals out of control until we're living in a kind of madness, obsessed with materialism, consuming all the time, blaming everyone "in power" for not giving us everything we want or for anything that doesn't work out for us.... and actually, for all that we have, utterly miserable.
Ignoring the fact that half the world's population is dying through famine, poverty and disease.
So - fear is really a very big problem. Acutely uncomfortable to experience and therefore hidden within other emotions such as anger, pride, jealousy. Fear makes us aware of our vulnerability and, without compassion and kindness, this can be really unpleasant.
But when we feel fear - raw, neat fear - we are in touch with something in a more direct, naked way. Which seems to bring us closer to the truth of who we really are. We are vulnerable. We are subject to uncontrollable forces of change that include ageing, sickness, death and losses of many kinds. Everything that exists is impermanent. So to rely on a lie such as the one that the ego perpetuates is very dangerous and very unwise. We suffer. We cause suffering to others.
When Buddhism talks of wisdom, it is referring to the state of innate "knowing" where the truth of existence and reality is no longer obscured. Tara is the essence of wisdom, the embodiment of wisdom when in form. It is through wisdom that all fear falls away - because we see things the way they really are, and in that view there is nothing to fear.
This is why it has always made sense to me to follow such a path. Buddhism works for me, but other traditions offer similar teaching and lead to the same "goal" . There a selfishness in it: I don't want to suffer..... but perhaps it's a wiser selfishness that some other kinds! I also appreciate that, if I were to truly understand the nature of myself, I wouldn't be afraid to suffer. I'd see the illusion of self and suffering, and this would liberate me from the kind of identification that blocks the all-pervading reality of compassion, peace and joy.
I have a very long way to go... but experiencing the fear of leaving home, losing a home and heading out into the world without really knowing where I'm going or what is going to happen, reminds me of the value of a spiritual path that can support us through major changes and uncertainties. Complacency and pride are fickle friends in a world where nothing is really as it seems...
I woke up feeling anxious this morning - which usually makes me want to cry, hide or run away! However, I realised this was an opportunity to take a good look into the nature of this anxiety and fear: after all, the very essence of Tara is protection from fear.
In many spiritual teachings, I've heard the same message: there are really only two forces at play within us - love and fear. Love is our true nature and fear is everything else, created and sustained by our ego. The fundamental problem with the human condition is our belief that we have an independent, self-existing, separate, fixed "I" .... which we need to feed, clothe, look after, provide entertainment for, reproduce, protect from pain, steer towards pleasure. We are responsible for the survival of ourselves, in the form that we perceive ourselves. We become rather attached to ourselves, and attached to what we believe is good for us and averse to what we believe is harmful.
This is all very sensible at face value. However, if we consider the consequences of millions of "I"s on the planet trying to secure their individual survival and happiness, there are many reasons why this view and behaviour is problematic. If resources are abundant, there is more likely to be relative harmony between individuals, but when they run out or are threatened, competitiveness and conflict increase. If I believe that I need all these things to survive, then I am going to be afraid if I don't have them - and resent you if you do have them. This seed of aggression towards you may grow until I truly believe I have to get rid of you somehow, or steal from you, in order to protect my own interests.
Even in times of abundance, because of this root drive to live according to the ego's belief system, my needs will just grow and grow until yesterday's luxury has become today's necessity. Greed spirals out of control until we're living in a kind of madness, obsessed with materialism, consuming all the time, blaming everyone "in power" for not giving us everything we want or for anything that doesn't work out for us.... and actually, for all that we have, utterly miserable.
Ignoring the fact that half the world's population is dying through famine, poverty and disease.
So - fear is really a very big problem. Acutely uncomfortable to experience and therefore hidden within other emotions such as anger, pride, jealousy. Fear makes us aware of our vulnerability and, without compassion and kindness, this can be really unpleasant.
But when we feel fear - raw, neat fear - we are in touch with something in a more direct, naked way. Which seems to bring us closer to the truth of who we really are. We are vulnerable. We are subject to uncontrollable forces of change that include ageing, sickness, death and losses of many kinds. Everything that exists is impermanent. So to rely on a lie such as the one that the ego perpetuates is very dangerous and very unwise. We suffer. We cause suffering to others.
When Buddhism talks of wisdom, it is referring to the state of innate "knowing" where the truth of existence and reality is no longer obscured. Tara is the essence of wisdom, the embodiment of wisdom when in form. It is through wisdom that all fear falls away - because we see things the way they really are, and in that view there is nothing to fear.
This is why it has always made sense to me to follow such a path. Buddhism works for me, but other traditions offer similar teaching and lead to the same "goal" . There a selfishness in it: I don't want to suffer..... but perhaps it's a wiser selfishness that some other kinds! I also appreciate that, if I were to truly understand the nature of myself, I wouldn't be afraid to suffer. I'd see the illusion of self and suffering, and this would liberate me from the kind of identification that blocks the all-pervading reality of compassion, peace and joy.
I have a very long way to go... but experiencing the fear of leaving home, losing a home and heading out into the world without really knowing where I'm going or what is going to happen, reminds me of the value of a spiritual path that can support us through major changes and uncertainties. Complacency and pride are fickle friends in a world where nothing is really as it seems...
posted by Anna Howard | 2:13 AM
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